Thank you for acknowledging. I could sense that you have desire to know about your self more and more. But I strongly believe that this desire could be satisfied only when we know ourself better; when we believe in ourself.
I am sure whatever I recommended would help you to see through more clearly and give encouragement to take new initiatives. Probably that’s what you need so badly right now. Mantras are good deeds, so chant the given mantra 108 times or even more as much as possible. Let me know after a month if you get chance whether you feel better.